Friday, March 30, 2012

The Grass Is Always Greener

Well folks, I went golfing for my first time today.  If you consider riding in the golf cart holding Baby P golfing that is.  I couldn't even make it past the tee off without committing a huge golf faux pas.  And I mean huge.  Who knew it wasn't acceptable to talk to someone mid-swing?!  My deepest apologies to the Mister!!  Let's just say golf etiquette is not one of my strong points.  With the golf season upon us, I thought I'd do a little research into this whole golf etiquette business and share my findings.  I would hate for y'all to make the same mistakes I did!!

1.  Never talk or ask questions during someone's play, especially mid-swing.  Can break a golfer's concentration and you will be shushed. 
2.  Do not put Doritos into your mouth right before or during someone's play.  Doritos make a deliciously cheesy crunch and can pose as a distraction.
3.  Avoid making unnecessary movements during someone's play.  Including but not limited to crawling around with Baby P, walking around green with Baby P, and/or dancing with Baby P.  
4.  In addition, would not advise walking around taking pics of Baby P on the green.  Especially while wearing magenta skinny jeans.  Could be confused for a dancing flamingo and therefore pose as a distraction.
5.  And although acceptable to jump up and down and scream with excitement after bowling a strike,  the same does not apply if you get a hole-in-one during golf.

Needless to say, the Mister may think twice before inviting me to join him for golf at any point in the near or distant future.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Bacon Makes Everything Better

Bacon speaks to me.  There's something about that perfect combination of salt and crunch that pulls at my heart strings.  My mouth is salivating just thinking about bacon right now.  With that said, I hate cooking it.  I take that back.  I don't actually mind the cooking part so much.  It's the smell that permeates my hair, my clothes, the Mister, Little Miss M, Baby P, the whole house, the neighbor's house, the next county...  You get the idea.  I recently made a discovery that has been life-changing.  Literally.  Bake the bacon!  There's no splattering mess, no pan of grease to clean out, and it cuts the stench by at least half!  Not to mention it is super duper easy.  Line a cookie sheet with tin foil, lay pieces of bacon side by side on foil, place in cold oven, turn oven to 400 degrees and just walk away.  Come back 20 minutes later to perfectly crisped bacon.  Using tongs, place bacon on paper towels to soak up the excess grease.  Once the bacon grease in pan has cooled, wad the foil into a ball and throw it away.  Simple as that!

Now that we have that out of the way, last night's dinner received a 5-star rating from the Mister.  Impressive, huh?  With a rating that high, I can't help but share it!  This recipe is brought to you courtesy of Olive Garden's own kitchen.  And it is oh so good.  Allow me to introduce you to Tortellini in Mushroom-Walnut Sauce.  It's surprisingly simple.  And simply delicious.  Start to finish it took just under half an hour!

Tortellini in Mushroom-Walnut Sauce

12 oz ravioli or tortellini, cooked according to package directions
2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
8 oz mushrooms, sliced
1/4 cup walnuts, chopped
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 1/2 cups freshly grated Parmesan cheese 
Crumbled bacon for garnish  

Heat olive oil in large skillet over medium heat. Sauté mushrooms and walnuts until mushrooms are golden brown. 

Add heavy cream stir frequently for 5 minutes, until sauce has slightly thickened. 

When cream stops simmering, turn heat to warm. Add pepper and Parmesan cheese; stir until sauce is smooth. Do not boil.

Drain pasta and place on a serving plate. Pour sauce over pasta. 
Olive Garden's recipe calls for parsley as a garnish.  I opted for bacon.  

Serve immediately.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Guess Who

Today was Biography Day for Little Miss M.  She's been keeping the person she chose from her classmates for over a month now.  Do you know how hard it is for a third grader to keep a secret for a month?  Secret keeping is not one of her strong points by any means.  Case in point, I tell Little Miss M not to tell the Mister we went shopping and not more than five minutes later, she's showing him what we bought!  Well folks, I am proud to say that this secret she kept indeed.  

As part of the Biography Day festivities, Little Miss M got to dress up like the person she chose.  For the last month, she's been so kind as to give daily reminders and a countdown until Biography Day.  Mom, don't forget there are only 30 days left until Biography Day.  I need a costume.  Mom, did you forget there is only one day left until Biography Day?  I need a costume.  My little worrier...  What little faith she has in me.  Doesn't she know that I got an A+ in procrastination?  Yes, my friends, I waited until last night to get that costume of hers done.  What can I say, I work well under pressure!  At 7:30 last night, Little Miss M, Baby P, and I took a little tripsy to our friendly local Savers.  One horrendous polyester pleated skirt and $4.99 later we were on our way to the trusty ol' Dollar Tree for spectacles.  After some nipping and tucking, that horrendous skirt was transformed into a horrendous dress and her costume was complete!

Off my little secret keeper went to school this morning.  With her she carried a list of three clues to share with her classmates.  From these clues, they were supposed to try and guess who she was.  Are you ready for the clues? 

1.  She was born April 12, 1916.
2.  She had a husband.
3.  She's still living.

Any takers?  That's right!  Beverly Cleary, well-beloved children's author and librarian.  Not really sure how you would dress like an author, so we took the librarian route.  Would you believe that not a single person could guess who my Little Miss M was?  With that amazing costume and clues like those, I can't imagine why!  Wasn't it so obvious?  She was quite proud of herself for stumping the class.  I must say, I'm pretty proud of her myself!

Frog Eyes

This stuff is so good it should be illegal.  I'm telling y'all, one bite and you'll be hooked for life.  I wish I could take credit for the recipe, but it ain't so.  Thank you Penny Hawkins!!  I am forever indebted to you.

Frog Eye Salad

1 Cup Sugar
2 1/2 Cups Pineapple Juice
3 Tbsp Flour
2 Beaten Eggs
1 Tbsp Lemon Juice
1 Package Acini di Pepe Pasta
3 Quarts Water
1 Tbsp Oil
2 20 oz Cans Pineapple Tidbits, Drained
2 6 oz Cans Mandarin Oranges, Drained and Cut into Small Pieces
2 8 oz Cartons Non-Dairy Whipped Topping
2 Cups Miniature Marshmallows

Combine sugar, pineapple juice, flour, eggs, 1/2 tsp salt, and lemon juice.  Cook to thicken, stirring constantly, and then cool.

Combine Acini de Pepe, water, oil, 2 tsp salt, and bring to a boil.  Cook for 12 minutes. Drain and cool.  Add pineapple mixture.  Cover and refrigerate overnight.

In the morning add pineapple tibdbits, oranges, whipped topping, and marshmallows.  Return to refrigerator for a few hours before serving.  

Serves a large crowd.  Can be stored in the refrigerator for up to two weeks.  

Just a warning, it didn't last two days at our house!